Again very concerned that my being naive is going to end with me not being able to take also care of myself...due to us not having legally finalized how long am i entitled to portion of his paychecks....as i have been asked not to work for 5 years.....and now need to get back into workforce after so long. as well as he knows i have a terribly stubborn guilty conscious...always have pulled my weight at home with kids and at his families farm....gone above and beyond....always feel like i need to earn things. hosue immaculate, his family taken care of my kids, my family...cleaning cooking...all that meaningless stuff you don't get paid for.

I always thought it was awful for women i knew that cheated or just didn't want to be married to take their husbands annuitys or worry about money....but i didn't do those things. NONE....we aren't getting along...and he wants to be done with arguing. and i feel like i'm being evil or manipulative by asking about money.

My advice is to retain the best divorce attorney you can afford and be prepared for a bitter fight. In some states, you have a better chance to prevail than in others. The fact he does not want to pay support shows a lack of character. To quote you "It is a mess", and I believe the divorce proceeding will be very difficult for you.
Your husband and his family will not want to give the farm or any money to anyone, just because you were married to your husband. You will probably be vilified by all of them, so be strong and be prepared. Persevere and possibly you will be successful.

The advice of an attorney is the best I can offer

Good Luck

You're entitled to a portion of his annuity or retirement plan. In addition, you can get alimony. The catch is that you are only entitled to that portion of the annuity that was accrued from the time you got married to the time you get a divorce. Accrue means that it increased over the years that you are/were married.

Since you haven't worked in 5 years, you may be entitled to alimony. Of course it also depends on the number of years you were married. Some states put a statute of limitations on alimony; meaning that you may get alimony for a set number of years or until you find employment. Alimony will be in effect until you remarry.

I suggest you get a family law attorney to represent you. It sounds like his family is going to put up a fight and the attorney is well prepared for the battle. In addition, you can request the court to make him pay for your attorney's fees, so you have nothing to lose.

I wish you the best and thank you for visiting Webanswers.com.